I can't help but feel a collective exhaustion going around these days.
Whether it's mental exhaustion from the last 2 years, recovering from "the thing" that's been going around the last 2 years, confusion because we are constantly told something different each time we sit down at the computer or turn the TV on.
Maybe it's just exhaustion from having to show up everyday, a smile on our faces, acting like we have our SHIZZ together.
We are pulled in so many directions. Everyone is needing something from us. Everyone is calling our name, needing our attention, often all at the same time.
Activities that once provided support from our peers, like sporting events, social gatherings, even business meetings or lunch dates, seem to be much fewer and far between. People aren't going to church and are opting to watch it on Facebook or Zoom instead of being around germs....I mean people!
I recently had a patient come in who tends to go nowhere but my office for her appointment every other week. She was in all out panic mode because she had a large funeral she had to attend. It was her best friends husband so she didn't feel she could miss it, but having not been around a group of people in almost 2 years had her extremely nervous. We talked about how it would go and how her fear is making it worse than what it will really be. I told her that more than likely once she gets there, she will realize that it's not as uncomfortable as she thinks it will be. She double masked (vaccinated and boostered too) and went. She admitted that it wasn't nearly as bad as she expected and that once she got there, it was nice to see her old friends. Since then she's gone out to dinner, something else she hasn't done in 2 years and is learning how to live her life, slowly but learning. She was so happy and much more relaxed this week when I saw her....that little bit of exposure to people and society was good for her!
This is a major contributor to our exhaustion and overall fatigue. The "circumstances" of the last 2 years have controlled just about every aspect of our lives...and we are just plain TIRED!
Validate your feelings or the feelings of those around you. Know that you aren't alone. There are millions of people feeling the same exact way you are.
Do something kind for someone you know is struggling. Send a card or some flowers. Even simply buying the coffee for the car behind you in a drivethru will make both you and the other person smile. It's safe to assume they are dealing with some tiredness too!
Don't be afraid to ask for help. (I'm not speaking to myself on this one. I don't EVER ask for help! LOL) Individuals who are burnt out are often too tired to think of ways that others can help them but it's important for them to know it's ok to ask for help. If you aren't suffering currently but know someone who is, don't ask them how you can help, because they won't know. Instead, offer to pick up dinner for them or grab a gift card to a local restaurant and throw it in the mail to them. And know your limits! You can do anything but you can't to EVERYTHING!
So, grab some coffee or tea, kick your feet up and go get lost in Gray's Anatomy for a little while! It's ok to spend a little bit of time, not being ok! You aren't alone!!! Just don't stay there. Take your time to be exhausted and burnt out, then work to bring yourself back to the superhero you are! You are amazing! You are capable and you are worthy!!!
I read an article today written by Meghan Markle, Dutchess of Sussex, who suffered a miscarriage in July. In a world where up to 20% of women will suffer at least one, it's ok to talk about your pain and miscarriage. In fact, it's beneficial to talk about it, both to yourself and others. I've always been very vocal and open about mine! Just like Meghan, it was my second child. It was traumatic! It was scary, but somehow we had peace during it. One of the worst parts about that day is that it was Tim's birthday (which he shared with his Abuelita/Grandma). I was in a Catholic hospital and despite blood dripping off of the bed and literally into the hallway, pouring out of my body at high rates, the hospital wouldn't/couldn't do a D&C until they 'found tissue" to confirm I'd actually miscarried. They almost let me die on that bed in the ER that day. Several doctors stopped in thinking there was a major trauma or gunshot victim in my room. Finally, a beautiful Indian female doctor came in, gave me a little "wink" and said "I think we've found tissue. I'm sorry, but you have lost your baby". I know that as soon as they would get me "cleaned out", the cavity would fill up with blood so fast that they couldn't see anything. I KNOW the other doctor was getting frustrated because of not being able to follow protocol because of the way my body was reacting to this loss. And I KNOW this doctor didn't find any fetal tissue. But I also know that she was true to her Hippocratic Oath she'd taken and knew she was doing me harm by not getting me in to surgery.Tim and I cried and held each other for a few moments and suddenly a literal breeze came through the room and we were done crying. Our tears were dried. He looked at me and said "Ok, we keep moving forward". The peace in that moment was truly of Biblical proportions! "The peace that passes understanding!" In that moment, I truly knew what the verse meant. I had such a peace as they wheeled me to the OR to start the D&C. Don't' get me wrong, I was sad and nervous, but I was at peace with the situation.
I had eaten just a few hours before and so they couldn't put me under like they typically do. I heard all the sounds, smelled the smells, saw all the lights and heard the noises from all the machines. It was traumatic, and one that I feel (personally) that if women HAD to experience when they had an abortion, many wouldn't go through with it! Those memories in that room will live with me forever, more so than the pain of my miscarriage.
My body healed despite having a spinal headache that I thought would kill me for the following week. My memories and sadness faded. I've never had issues talking about that day or sharing with other women who are going through something similar. And 22 years later, I find myself hearing of other women's stories, feeling their grief and sadness as they navigate it alone. People didn't ask me if I was ok. Instead some of the comments were quite hurtful, unintentionally, but hurtful none the less. "You'll have another baby". "You got pregnant and carried a baby before. You'll do it again". "I just know that was my granddaughter". "You'll get through it. Thousands of women before you have!" "You're strong". Those aren't the words I needed. I needed to be simply asked "Are you ok?" or "What can I do for you?"
So I'm asking YOU....ARE YOU OK???
Have you had a miscarriage or other loss of a child in the past that you still struggle with? Is it still haunting you, creating painful memories that you are ready to let go of and heal through? I'm here for you! I've got big shoulders and am a good listening ear. ❤️ YOU ARE NOT ALONE! ❤️
Go read Meghan Markles words. Then open up and share your story! It may help someone else who is suffering alone in silence.
So often we hear “Well, that’s normal” or “That’s common for your age” when we talk to our friends or doctors about a specific issue and while that may be true, normal doesn’t always equal healthy. It’s “common” for kids to have ear infections, but that doesn’t mean it’s normal. It’s “common” for kids to have constipation, but it’s not normal. In our society things like autoimmune issues, fibromyalgia, eczema, headaches, mental illness and insomnia are common and often considered normal, but ARE they? Although we may assume that common and normal are the same, they are not. We live in a society that is seeing a growing trend of claiming that chronic, preventable issues are "normal” just because they are common.
These are all symptoms of underlying issues. It’s the body’s “Check engine light” saying “HEY! SOMETHING IS WRONG! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” Instead, we brush it off as “normal” and ignore that light and warning. We've slapped a label on the condition as a further way to normalize it and will give you medications to try to help you control it. We basically slap a bandaid on it and call it good. Does giving a person a blood pressure medication to lower the blood pressure in their body suddenly make them healthy because the numbers have changed? Not really. The issue is still there...we've just covered up the check engine light. There is still an issue happening.
The word common means that something occurs often or is prevalent. The word normal is a bit harder to define, because its meaning differs based on different contexts. For instance, telling a child in school that they are “normal”, may make them feel subpar. A high school athlete may feel inadequate because of their normalcy. Being a normal weight as a high school girl might make her feel like she's too big and needs to shed a few pounds but telling an adult the same makes most of us feel content and like we are ok. Normal tends to be guided by societal rules. What the majority sees or feels or believes, makes it normal. So when we look at health, we find that normal is often defined by the medical profession. I see x-rays quite often where the radiologist has said that it’s a normal x-ray but when I look at it with different blinders on, I see a neck that is lacking the curvature it should have and maybe a head that it rotated or tilted. While there may not be degeneration or nerve root issues, this neck is far from normal and if it is left the way it is, it WILL lead to those things I just mentioned. Tell a female that her thyroid levels are normal and she feels relief.
BUT, being normal in a sick society is still sick.
BUT, being normal in a sick society is still sick.
Over the coming weeks we are going to talk about many issues that we see as “normal” that actually aren’t and how it is possible to avoid these common and often “normal” health issues. Join us as we talk about allergies, learning disabilities, thyroid, infertility, auto immunity, headaches, painful periods and so much more!
