I read an article today written by Meghan Markle, Dutchess of Sussex, who suffered a miscarriage in July. In a world where up to 20% of women will suffer at least one, it's ok to talk about your pain and miscarriage. In fact, it's beneficial to talk about it, both to yourself and others. I've always been very vocal and open about mine! Just like Meghan, it was my second child. It was traumatic! It was scary, but somehow we had peace during it. One of the worst parts about that day is that it was Tim's birthday (which he shared with his Abuelita/Grandma). I was in a Catholic hospital and despite blood dripping off of the bed and literally into the hallway, pouring out of my body at high rates, the hospital wouldn't/couldn't do a D&C until they 'found tissue" to confirm I'd actually miscarried. They almost let me die on that bed in the ER that day. Several doctors stopped in thinking there was a major trauma or gunshot victim in my room. Finally, a beautiful Indian female doctor came in, gave me a little "wink" and said "I think we've found tissue. I'm sorry, but you have lost your baby". I know that as soon as they would get me "cleaned out", the cavity would fill up with blood so fast that they couldn't see anything. I KNOW the other doctor was getting frustrated because of not being able to follow protocol because of the way my body was reacting to this loss. And I KNOW this doctor didn't find any fetal tissue. But I also know that she was true to her Hippocratic Oath she'd taken and knew she was doing me harm by not getting me in to surgery.Tim and I cried and held each other for a few moments and suddenly a literal breeze came through the room and we were done crying. Our tears were dried. He looked at me and said "Ok, we keep moving forward". The peace in that moment was truly of Biblical proportions! "The peace that passes understanding!" In that moment, I truly knew what the verse meant. I had such a peace as they wheeled me to the OR to start the D&C. Don't' get me wrong, I was sad and nervous, but I was at peace with the situation.
I had eaten just a few hours before and so they couldn't put me under like they typically do. I heard all the sounds, smelled the smells, saw all the lights and heard the noises from all the machines. It was traumatic, and one that I feel (personally) that if women HAD to experience when they had an abortion, many wouldn't go through with it! Those memories in that room will live with me forever, more so than the pain of my miscarriage.
My body healed despite having a spinal headache that I thought would kill me for the following week. My memories and sadness faded. I've never had issues talking about that day or sharing with other women who are going through something similar. And 22 years later, I find myself hearing of other women's stories, feeling their grief and sadness as they navigate it alone. People didn't ask me if I was ok. Instead some of the comments were quite hurtful, unintentionally, but hurtful none the less. "You'll have another baby". "You got pregnant and carried a baby before. You'll do it again". "I just know that was my granddaughter". "You'll get through it. Thousands of women before you have!" "You're strong". Those aren't the words I needed. I needed to be simply asked "Are you ok?" or "What can I do for you?"
So I'm asking YOU....ARE YOU OK???
Have you had a miscarriage or other loss of a child in the past that you still struggle with? Is it still haunting you, creating painful memories that you are ready to let go of and heal through? I'm here for you! I've got big shoulders and am a good listening ear. ❤️ YOU ARE NOT ALONE! ❤️
Go read Meghan Markles words. Then open up and share your story! It may help someone else who is suffering alone in silence.
So often we hear “Well, that’s normal” or “That’s common for your age” when we talk to our friends or doctors about a specific issue and while that may be true, normal doesn’t always equal healthy. It’s “common” for kids to have ear infections, but that doesn’t mean it’s normal. It’s “common” for kids to have constipation, but it’s not normal. In our society things like autoimmune issues, fibromyalgia, eczema, headaches, mental illness and insomnia are common and often considered normal, but ARE they? Although we may assume that common and normal are the same, they are not. We live in a society that is seeing a growing trend of claiming that chronic, preventable issues are "normal” just because they are common.
These are all symptoms of underlying issues. It’s the body’s “Check engine light” saying “HEY! SOMETHING IS WRONG! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” Instead, we brush it off as “normal” and ignore that light and warning. We've slapped a label on the condition as a further way to normalize it and will give you medications to try to help you control it. We basically slap a bandaid on it and call it good. Does giving a person a blood pressure medication to lower the blood pressure in their body suddenly make them healthy because the numbers have changed? Not really. The issue is still there...we've just covered up the check engine light. There is still an issue happening.
The word common means that something occurs often or is prevalent. The word normal is a bit harder to define, because its meaning differs based on different contexts. For instance, telling a child in school that they are “normal”, may make them feel subpar. A high school athlete may feel inadequate because of their normalcy. Being a normal weight as a high school girl might make her feel like she's too big and needs to shed a few pounds but telling an adult the same makes most of us feel content and like we are ok. Normal tends to be guided by societal rules. What the majority sees or feels or believes, makes it normal. So when we look at health, we find that normal is often defined by the medical profession. I see x-rays quite often where the radiologist has said that it’s a normal x-ray but when I look at it with different blinders on, I see a neck that is lacking the curvature it should have and maybe a head that it rotated or tilted. While there may not be degeneration or nerve root issues, this neck is far from normal and if it is left the way it is, it WILL lead to those things I just mentioned. Tell a female that her thyroid levels are normal and she feels relief.
BUT, being normal in a sick society is still sick.
BUT, being normal in a sick society is still sick.
Over the coming weeks we are going to talk about many issues that we see as “normal” that actually aren’t and how it is possible to avoid these common and often “normal” health issues. Join us as we talk about allergies, learning disabilities, thyroid, infertility, auto immunity, headaches, painful periods and so much more!
WHY CHILDREN NEED A SPINAL CHECKUP
“How can a chiropractor help my child? His back doesn’t bother him.” How many times have chiropractors seen parents ensure that their child has regular check-ups for their hearing, teeth, and eyes but never bother to have their child’s spine checked? Reality is that a spinal check-up is probably the most important check-up your child could have.
Your child’s spine is his/her lifeline. Running through it is the spinal cord, which contains billions of nerve fibres that send messages and energy from the brain to every cell in their body. If there is blockage of any of the nerves along the spinal cord, any nerve damage at all, then a state of “dis-ease” will develop. Disease means dis-harmony in the body that will cause generalized weakening of your child’s body, lowered resistance to disease, and consequent body malfunction and sickness.
Nerves that are blocked within the spinal column are caused by an inability of the bones of the spine (vertebrae) to move properly. These are called vertebral subluxations. Chiropractors are specialists who are trained to locate and correct subluxations, much like only dentists find cavities.
Many stresses in a child’s life can cause subluxations. The first place is the birthing process. As your child grows they fall, jump, run, play and experience many forms of trauma.
Because your children may have spinal subluxations and not know it, all children need periodic spinal checkups. There are certain warning signs indicating that the spinal column may be out of alignment: one hip or shoulder is higher than the other, hyperactivity, frequent falling, a foot turned in or out ( foot flare ), neck tilt, one leg shorter than the other, chronic fatigue, “noisy bones” or joint aches, headaches, skin conditions. Some other indicators are increased allergies, colds and flu, asthma and ear infections. A recent study of 332 children showed that chronic ear infection sufferers under chiropractic care had no more infections in 80% of the cases. (JCCP, Vol.2.No.2 1997)
The health concerns of your child are obviously very important. Having a healthy spine can eliminate numerous health problems as your child grows. Spinal health has been shown to be at least as important as proper nutrition. A healthy spine is absolutely essential. You or your children may be carrying subluxations and not even know it. Having a spinal check-up can make the difference between a life of strength, vitality and health as compared to a life of disease, disability and weakness.(Used with permission from Atlas Chiropractic Systems)
