Updates from Kelly Milano

Taming the Menopausal Dragon

Menopause is often lovingly referred to as the "change of life," but for those of us riding the hormonal dragon, it feels anything but gentle. It’s the powerful transition in womanhood marking a new chapter in our lives, much like when we went through puberty as young girls. It’s full of its own set of fiery challenges-the hormonal dragon that often breathes hot flashes, mood swings, and sleepless nights into our lives. It’s full of confusion, frustration, emotional highs and lows, and feelings of exhaustion. This mythical beast represents the tumultuous effects hormonal imbalances can wreak on our bodies, emotions, and overall well-being.  It’s as if we suddenly wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and don’t even recognize the person staring back at us.  

Hormones can often feel like the unsung puppet masters of our well-being, capable of turning our day from tranquil to tumultuous without a moment's notice. Hormones are the delicate balancing act that controls almost all of our bodily functions. When they are functioning healthily, they are a beautiful symphony. But when they are out of balance, they often feel like a group of 3rd graders who are picking up the recorder in music class for the first time. You know that sound! The nails on the chalkboard, screeching, squeaking annoyance of every parent's worst nightmares!  Yet, what if I told you that there's a path through the smoke—a way to tame this dragon inside and even ride with it in harmony? Fear not, for there are natural, holistic methods to tame this dragon, bringing peace and equilibrium back to our lives. 
The journey through perimenopause and menopause necessitates a balanced approach that embraces the mind, body, and the healing powers of the natural world. Embracing nature as a source of support and equilibrium can guide us through the stormy seas of hormonal changes, showcasing the strength and resilience inherent in navigating this transformative phase of life. Utilizing natural methods to address these challenges positions us to find a sense of harmony amidst the upheaval, empowering us to forge a path forward with grace and confidence.

This is what I do! As a doctor, I help you find natural solutions to bring balance back to your body and learn to embrace the changes that you are seeing visibly.  I help you understand the signs your body is throwing at you and interpret them to get to the root of the situation. Let's chat! 

XOXO,
Kelly







Starting Something New Can Be Scary-the start of a 14 day Whole Body Reset

Starting something new is never easy. It can be scary,  overwhelming and sometimes it’s just plain HARD! No matter how much we prepare our minds for change, sometimes taking that first step before a giant leap is the hardest part of the whole thing.


Today as we venture into this 14 day reset, I have so many thoughts. My brain is saying ‘just one more day and you can start tomorrow” and “Just grab a muffin quick for breakfast. It’s not going to hurt anything”.  This is the addiction talking! The addiction is saying that no one will know. It’s saying that ‘just a little won’t hurt’. It’s saying that I NEED the food or pop or whatever. It’s telling me to stop on the way to work and grab a coffee, which isn’t even something I do everyday, but TODAY my brain is telling me that my body wants it.

Change is scary and even when it’s for our good, it’s still scary. And today my brain is in that spot. I’ve hidden behind weight for so long, knowing that I needed to make changes but not being fully ready.  What I’ve learned is that I have a bit of a perfectionist side about me. I’m afraid of failure. Everyone is watching! I’ve learned that I don’t set realistic goals because I don’t want to miss out on them and feel like I’m not worthy of ever achieving them.  So instead, I have settled for status quo. I have settled for mediocrity in many areas of my life.

Anyone who has tried to lose weight (and failed) knows that the mental roadblocks can play huge roles, as big as diet and exercise! We create so many questions in our heads as to what it will look like when we are healthier.  We have a fear of the unknown, especially if we’ve lived in a place of obesity for awhile. “Will my skin get saggy”? “Will I have enough money to buy new clothes when mine no longer fit?”  For those who’ve lived with 30, 40, 50, 100 pounds extra, we also may wonder what it’s like to be skinny and that unknown creates anxiety for us.

For some of us in this group, we hide behind the weight because of trauma.  Some will feel that if they stay behind the weight, they won’t get unnecessary attention that could lead to more hurt. They use the weight as a shield.

And for some of us in this group, being overweight is just what’s comfortable. We are used to this and it’s what we know. We know what to expect from day to day. We’ve altered our lives around what we know we can and can’t do.  We look for elevators because stairs will make us winded and sweaty by the time we get to our appointment. We park close to the doors at the store so we don’t have to walk too far.  We create excuses of why we can’t go place and become “comfortable” in our house, not wanting to leave.  We create nightly rituals around a bowl of ice cream or snacks while watching late night TV. And these things become our “normal”.

I remember when I was pregnant with my second daughter and my OBGYN said “Well you’ve hit a milestone?” I was so excited and asked him what it was.  He responded very nonchalantly with “You’ve hit 200 pounds”.  He also informed me at that time that I had gestational diabetes. I remember being devastated, but at the same time, I believe those words are one of the big things that ultimately led me to overeat. He put me on Diet Coke instead of Coke (OMG! What are these doctors thinking???) and I started drinking a 2 liter a day because I just didn’t feel like I’d had enough. (When I drank Coke, one can did it, but with Diet Coke, I needed more to get the same feeling). After my baby was born, I lost some weight but managed to keep on a good 25 pounds or so. Then came baby 3, 4, and 5. With each one I was closer to 200 pounds at the start so I hit this number more quickly. It almost became a challenge to see how quickly I could hit it.  And with each pregnancy I gained 40-50 pounds and I kept 15-20 pounds extra at the end.   I remember very vividly telling my husband that I was done trying to lose weight and that everytime I started, I would get pregnant. Boom Chica Wow Wow!  Those words eventually altered my brain to not want to lose weight. Why? Because I didn’t want to get pregnant! DUH

Ultimately, thoughts like this led me to where I am today. About 60 pounds over weight, facing the seemingly daunting task of having to face my fears, face my worries and start this journey of getting healthier.

The workbook questions that we have for this 14 day reset are fantastic and make us dig deeper and look at why we have the connections to food that we have.  Today’s question is to reflect on times you overate. What triggered it and how can we create better coping skills.  I challenge you to really do these daily questions and to plug in ACTIVELY to the challenge group.  We have to be willing to face this demon of food and addiction and doing it in a group is going to be the most empowering part of this whole journey!!!
So, today I’m being bold, as much as I don’t want to.  I’m facing my fears, putting myself out there and saying that today, January 15th 2024, I’m starting on this journey at a whopping 221.3 pounds.  OUCH! I can’t believe I just admitted that out loud! I’m going to work on journaling some of this as well as what I’ve learned in the days and weeks leading up to this challenge, and I invite you to do the same. 
 
 We’ve got this!

XOXO
Kelly


Nurturing Your Body and Mind After Childbirth: A Step-by-Step Guide

"As a new mom, I'm feeling completely overwhelmed after giving birth. Adjusting to this new role, sleepless nights, and trying to meet all the demands has me feeling emotionally drained." Does this sound like you? This is what a new mom recently told me when she came to see me, but it's a sentiment I hear over and over from my postpartum patients. The exhaustion is real! Getting up all night to feed a crying infant can leave a new mom feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Many even feel defeated because they can't decipher the cry to find out what their new family member is needing. You are in the right place!! 

First off, Congratulations on welcoming your bundle of joy! You are superwoman! I know you might not feel like it right now, but think of what you have already accomplished! You grew another life inside your body for the past nine months.  You pushed something the size of a watermelon out your.....well, you know! You were there!!! I'm sure I don't have to remind you of that! You are able to sustain that life for the next several months with no outside food source. 

Along with the immense joy and happiness, the postpartum period brings a lot of physical and emotional changes. It's essential to prioritize self-care and nurture your body and mind during this critical phase. In this step-by-step guide, we'll explore effective ways to support your well-being and recovery after childbirth. 

Step #1 Sleep Whenever It's Possible
You’ll often hear people say “Sleep when baby sleeps” and while that is sound advice, I say to sleep whenever you can!! You can get incredible benefits from 15 to 20 minutes of napping improved alertness without feeling groggy or interfering with nighttime sleep. These 15 minute naps can help keep you going during the day and help you keep a bit of your sanity. 


Step #2 Gentle Yoga
As your body heals, practice gentle yoga or meditation. Incorporating calming exercises to relax your mind and balance your emotions will help to:  

  • Increase calmness.
  • Decrease anxiety and depression.
  • Reduce irritability and anger.
  • Increased energy 
As the body is returning to normal and the Relaxin hormone is beginning to diminish, gentle yoga will also help to heal the tissues and return them back to normal, especially in the abdomen and perineum areas as well as regain strength that may have been lost in these areas. 

Step 3: Proper Nutrition
Opt for nutrient-rich foods including a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins in your diet. Staying hydrated is going to be important, especially if you are breastfeeding so make sure you increase your water intake to roughly 120oz  a day. It is also going to be important to support your body with multivitamins or supplements designed for postpartum support to help your body heal and support both you and a new baby.


Step 3: Physical Well-being
Seek professional guidance for postpartum exercises: Start with gentle exercises approved by your healthcare provider to strengthen your pelvic floor and core muscles. Your OB, a Physical Therapist  or Pelvic Floor Therapist can guide you in this. Treat yourself to rejuvenating massages or try Young Living's lavender-infused massage oils to relax and nourish your body. Adding lavender oil to a sitz bath can help to calm and comfort any perineum discomfort. This can also help to soothe hemorrhoids or fissures if you have those from labor and help to lessen the irritation from any stitches

Step 4: Don’t Be Afraid to Say NO 
Give yourself permission to simply eat, sleep and care for yourself and your baby during this time. Don’t be afraid to turn down the requests for visitors or the urge to get out and go visit family. Enjoy these first few weeks and don’t be afraid to be selfish with them!

If friends and family insist on coming over and seeing you and the new baby, leverage them for help. Ask them to hold the baby while you get a 15 minute nap or to bring over a hot dinner with them so you don’t have to cook.  Put them to work doing laundry or helping with older kids. This can often help you fight off some of the overwhelm you will likely feel in the first few weeks. Engage your community when needed! 

Step 5: Emotional Support
Join support groups either online or locally and seek guidance from other mothers experiencing similar challenges. Trust me when I say that you are NOT alone! Be kind to yourself during these transitions and acknowledge the rollercoaster of emotions that come with postpartum. Don't lock them up inside. I remember there were several days as a new mom at age 21 where my husband would walk back in the house after work, I'd hand him our newborn son and go lock myself in the bathroom and cry on the floor. The emotions you are feeling are real and they are normal! Acknowledge them! Back then there was so much I didn't know. We didn't have the internet so there were days I felt totally alone. You don't have to feel that way today!!! Jump into our community atThe Empowered Family on Facebook. 

Step 6: Seek Help When Needed
Don't be afraid to reach out for assistance. Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, or professionals, especially during times of exhaustion or overwhelm.  If you're experiencing any concerning symptoms or emotional distress, it's crucial to seek professional support. I've typically been one who doesn't ask for help until I've hit rock bottom so don't be like me!! Seek out help when needed! That's what it is there for. If you are already seeing a therapist, talk to them about what you are feeling, your emotions, your concerns, your fears. If you aren't seeing a therapist, reach out to your OB for assistance and share with them. They can either point you to a therapist or can help you in the office. 


Step 7: Start Small with Routines
A mom recently told me "Finding a routine that works for me feels like a never-ending challenge." This mom was a get out and go mom. She was social and loved setting her own pace. Now she was being challenged to find new routines because they didn't coincide with what her baby's routine was presenting. 
Start small. You probably won't be able to jump right back in to Girls Nights Out but it will come! For now, start a daily routine of when you will get your shower, or when you will get a yoga or workout session in. It may all change for awhile and instead of a 45 minute cardio routine, it may be strapping your new baby in a BabyBjorn or a Moby Wrap and going outside for a walk around the block. (For info on best infant carriers, check out this post by Today's Parent)

Step 8: Don't Fall Into the Comparison Trap
I had a mom once tell me that she felt inferior to the moms around her. She would see their pictures and it looked like they were having an amazing newborn experience. She saw pictures of a doting dad cuddled up on the coach with the baby snuggled tight on his chest (and to add to it, it seems these pictures are always of a super good looking dad with an amazing set of pecs....am I wrong???) and pictures of a mom standing in a beautiful nursery and talking about how she's already back to her pre-pregnancy weight 2 weeks after delivering her baby. 

For my patient, her reality was that her husband worked very long hours as a police officer. Some nights she didn't know how late he would be home and she spent a lot of time worrying about if he would COME home that night. Her nursery was simple, with a hand me down crib and she mostly had the baby in bed with her instead of his own room because she was too tired to take him back to his bed after middle of the night feedings. She was several months postpartum and still struggling to lose the "mom bod" she acquired. Her stretch marks looked like a lion had attacked her stomach. 

Remember that most people show only the best stuff online! But they likely had the same mesh underwear in the hospital that you did and were sitting on ice packs just like you! They likely have their moments of sadness as their hormones are shifting and their feelings of dread when the baby cries....AGAIN! Try to not have any set expectations about your journey because there is so much that is out of your control. This is about you, your baby and your journey in life together, not anyone else.

Nurturing your body and mind after childbirth is a journey that requires time and patience. By implementing just a practical steps, you can support your physical recovery, emotional well-being, and overall postpartum experience. Embrace the power of self-care and give yourself the love you need during this special phase of motherhood. 

 Take care of yourself, mama – you deserve it!  To set up a FREE 30 minute consultation with me, please CLICK HERE. 
 I work with many postpartum moms in my daily practice and am here to help! 

To learn more about the products mentioned or to find your favorite, click HERE

XOXO
Dr Kelly

 
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Meet Kelly Milano

 
I'm Kelly, mom to 5, wife to1.  
I know firsthand the challenges of feeling helpless and confused inside my own body, the feeling of waking up one day and not even recognizing myself in the mirror. Over time, everything changed as I discovered the incredible benefits of natural health solutions without all the side effects. 

Now, I am passionate about sharing this valuable information with other women who are desiring to regain their life and vitality and to get to know themselves and their body again, even while in the throws of perimenopause and menopause.  

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